Englisch zum korrigieren < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 10:31 Mo 12.10.2009 | | Autor: | Dinker |
Guten Morgen
Ich wäre unheimlich dankbar, wenn jemand dies jemand korrigieren könnte.
A survey implemented from the Federal Offic for statistic came to the result that the majority have the opinion that the publicity should do more for the climate protection, even it's cost a lot of money. This sounds confident because the population is awared that it's very important to do something again the global warming.
Additionally different climate protection agreement are concluded. As climate conferences, Kyoto Protocol, Emission Trade, CO2 fee in Switzerland.
But as I follows the G20 summit in September my optimism went back. Although this states are respinsible for more than fifty precent of the green house emission, all question turned around the financial crisis. Meanwhile the consequences of the green house effect were hardly adresses. In my opinion the governments put false priority. Undoubtedly the green house effect and global warming is a higher danger for the humankind that this financial crisis, that is a ordinary in the economic cycle. And in contrast to the nature destruction the financial crisis is revocerable. What is the benefit when the economic works excellent but the nature is completely detroyed?
Surely the green house effect and global warming will be one of the greatest challenges for the future.
I'm convince that the real future war isn't again terrorism, but again the climate change.
We must be awared, that Global warming can't solve one country alone, but it requires a global cooperation and every person have to contribute to stop this process. Otherwise the worsest scenarios will come faster true faster than we think. (Bild einspielen)
I hope you know that we have with our profession a particularly responsibility in the environment protection. We can contribute by using local material, separate demolition waste, or recycling the material. Or for example use a Swiss granite, instead of Chinese Granite.
More information you will get in the modul environment.
When you think about your childrend how will you justify why they have to bear consequences for that we are responsible. In my opinion it's our duty to care the earths than the earth is much too precious zu destroy it such careless. Defintely the green house effect and global warming are the greatest challenges in the 21 century. Althought prediction are in the most instances difficult, it sure that global warming and greenhouse effect will be one of the most important future issue.
My statement is: Act before the worsest scenario will come true.
Now I will sum up the most important in a few sentence.
The process that is named green house effect is absolutely necessary for the humankinds exists. The sun energy is absorbed from the surface and transform into infrared radiation. In this process heat is created.
A part of this trasformed radiation remains within the atmosphere because of the green house gases and heat up the earth. Due to the human being emission of green house gases the concentration increase and the earth's temperature grows. The humanity disrubt the natural balance.
The consequences are flooding, drought, extreme weather occurences, rising of the sea level and a lot of more unpleasant effects.
Although I have exceeded the time limit I'm allowed to answer possible questions. I have overdrawn the presentation time in the same way as the humanity waits to take action determined.
If not, I will thank for your attention and I hope you could learn (das Eine und Andere) espacially what means green house effect. Maybe you will recognize the danger of the anthropogenic green house effect clearer. Hofepfully the climate in the schoolroom wasn't too hot.
Vielen Dank
Gruss Dinker
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 11:12 Mo 12.10.2009 | | Autor: | leduart |
Hallo dinker
Ich hab deinen Text mal in word eingegeben und die automatische Fehlererkennung drueber laufen lassen,
die findet schon viele Rechtschreib- und Grammatikfehler.
Warum benutzest du sowas nicht? Wenn du es danach schickst haben wir viel weniger zu tun. Was jeder spelling und grammar checker tut, dazu braucht man keine persoenliche Zuwendung.
Gruss leduart
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moin,
ich habe den teil des textes korrigiert der wegen Doppelpost gesperrt worden ist und hierher verlinkt.
Vielleicht kannst du ihn ja trotzdem gebrauchen.
I will now express my opinion. *(1)
A survey conducted by the Federal Office for statistic came to the conclusion that the majority of xxxxxxxxx*(2) believe that the xxxxx*(3) should do more for the protection of the environment, even if it means spending big quantities of money. These are great news because it means that the population is aware of the importance of doing something against the global warming.
 *(4) The study also concludes that there is a need to create more climate protection agreements other than the Kyoto Protocol, the Emission Trade and the CO2 fee in Switzerland
But as I followed the G20 summit in September my optimism faded. Although these countries are responsible for more than fifty percent of the green house emissions, most of the questions in the summit addressed the financial crisis, leaving the topic of the green house effect almost unattended. In my opinion the governments prioritized the financial crisis over global warming and forgot that global warming represents a higher threat for mankind. Such an economic situation is reversible and it is a part of the normal monetary cycle. A destabilization of the global climate is not. *(5) Is a working economy needed if nature is destroyed?
*(1) “At last…” hört sich so als wurde man sagen: “Endlich!!” Auf Englisch nicht sehr passend.
*(2) Welche Majority? Die Mehrheit an Menschen aus der Schweiz, Menschen aus Deutschland oder Experten? Das muss dort rein. Welche Mehrheit?
*(3) Wer musst mehr machen? Du hast “publicity“ geschrieben… doch das ist falsch und bedeutet was anderes (Werbung). Meinst du die Öffentlichkeit (die Menschen) sollen mehr machen? Dann muss das Wort „public“ dort rein. Meinst du die Regierung? Dann muss das Wort: „Government” dort rein.
*(4) Was meinst du mit dem Satz: „Additionally different climate protection agreement are concluded. As climate conferences, Kyoto Protocol, Emission Trade, CO2 fee in Switzerland. “ Ich habe daraus verstanden, dass mehr Abkommen gemacht werden müssen. Ist das richtig? Dann kannst du meinen neuen Satz (in dem Eckigen Klammern) so stehen lassen
*(5) Ich habe diesen Absatz ein bisschen restrukturiert um die Sätze besser zu verbinden. Ich hoffe das Ergebniss gefällt dir.
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