Korrektur von Aufsatz. =) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 13:15 Di 06.11.2007 | | Autor: | airam111 |
Wir haben morgen E-SA und ich habe Texte zu den Themen geschrieben. Könnte sich jemand diese zwei davon verbessern? Alle Korrekturvorschläge sind mir herzlich willkommen!
MY FAVOURITE SINGER/BAND/KIND OF MUSIC
I like different styles of music. Most I like pop and rock because this music makes me having feelings like happy, mad sad and inspired. This music also makes me want to dance and sing along. These styles have got a good beat and it is fun to listen. I dont like Techno and Rap, because I think Techno is too fast and in the style Rap words are only spoken and not sung.
My favourite singer is Christina Aguilera. I love the way she sings with her great voice. I think some time ago most of the people didnt know her, but since she sang the song Lady Marmalade wit Pink, Mya, Lil Kim and Missy Elliot, she was a world star.
My favourite groups are Green Day and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I like to listen to their music because I think they write good songs with meaningful lyrics, a catchy tune and a good beat.
I like the songs Californiacation by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Holiday by Green Day a lot, but my favourite song is Lady Marmalade. I like this song best, because it has got a tremendous power and I love the way the singers how the singers of the song sing.
That is the music I like to listen to. I think music is very important because it is all around us also in things that we sometimes dont notice like in TV shows, computer games and movies.
THE IDEAL OF SCHOOL
My perfect school would be in a modern building. The students wouldnt have to wear a school uniform and make up would be allowed. The toilets would be cleaned every hour, so they would never be soiled. The students would have more Physical Education and less Physics. All the teachers would have a sense of humour. They would also be patient, understanding, fair and good prepared to listen to the pupils. But the teachers would also sometimes be strict and respected by all. If the weather is fine, the teachers would teach outside. In my perfect school there would be a couch and a coffee machine in every classroom and the rooms would have lots of big windows. Every pupil would have his own computer and there would be more work during the lessons with the computer. During the brake the students wouldnt have to go to the baker anymore, because the baker would bring the snacks and drinks into the classrooms. Also the breaks would be longer and the lessons shorter. In the winter my perfect school would be good heated and it would never be cold inside. There wouldnt be unexpected exams and you would have enough time to learn before every exam or test. Thats my idea of the ideal of a school.
das wären die beiden texte..
bitte um schnelle antwort.. =)
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
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MY FAVOURITE SINGER/BAND/KIND OF MUSIC
I like different styles of music. (passt)
Most I like pop and rock/I like pop and rock most because this music makes me having feelings like happy, mad and inspired (würde bedeuten dass die Musik dich dazu zwingt, diese Gefühle zu haben, wenn dus so stehen lassen willst beim Hilfsverb to have keine Verlaufsform verwenden, sondern Infinitiv, => makes me have feelings like happiness, etc. Hier Substantive verwenden da es sich auf die feelings bezieht und Gefühle selbst benennst du im Deutschen ja auch nicht mit Adjektiven wie dus hier gemacht hast, z.B. Es vermittelt mir ein Gefühl von traurig. ß klingt doch blöd oder? xD)
oder aber du machst es ganz anders und schreibst:
this music gives me various feelings like happiness, madness, sadness and sometimes it inspires me.
This music also makes me want to dance and sing along. (passt, hier hast du das mit dem Infinitiv richtig gemacht)
These styles have got a good (great passt hier besser, würde ich sagen) beat and it is fun (+for me, da es sonst einer Tatsache gleichkommt und es ja nicht jedem Spaß macht) to listen.
I dont like Techno and Rap (Kleinschreibung beachten, oben hattest dus noch richtig => rap), because I think Techno (selber Fehler => techno) is too fast and in the style Rap (selber Fehler ^^) words are only spoken and not sung.
My favourite singer is Christina Aguilera. I love the way she sings with her great voice.
I think some time ago most of the people didnt know her, but since (wenn du hier sagen willst aber als sie mit soundso das Lied gesungen hatte, heißt es im folgenden:
she has sung the sung
) she sang the song Lady Marmalade wit Pink, Mya, Lil Kim and Missy Elliot, she was (hier is, weil sie es ja immer noch ist ^^) a world star.
My favourite groups are Green Day and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.
I like to listen to their music because I think they write good songs with meaningful lyrics, a catchy tune and a good (lass dir mal ein anderes Wort für good einfallen, Wortwiederholungen kommen in Textproduktionen generell nicht gut) beat.
I like the songs Californiacation by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Holiday by Green Day a lot, but my favourite song is Lady Marmalade. I like this song best, because it has got a tremendous power and I love the way the singers how the singers of the song sing (hier entweder. I love how the singers sing the song ODER I love the way the singers sing the song, hast hier offenbar was vermischt +g+).
That is the music I like to listen to. I think music is very important because it is all around us (hier würd ich nen Gedankenstrich einfügen -, nur so als künstlerische Beigabe und weil du es an den Satz mehr oder weniger hintenanfügst) also in things that we sometimes dont notice like in TV shows, computer games and movies.
THE IDEAL OF SCHOOL
My perfect school would be in a modern building.
The students wouldnt have to wear a school uniform and make up (es heißt make-up)would be allowed.
The toilets would be cleaned every hour, (hier kein Komma, im Englischen bei Unsicherheiten am Besten Kommas weglassen) so they would never be soiled. (wollen wir zusammen eine Schule bauen? xD)
The students would have more Physical Education and less Physics. (bin ich auch dafür x3)
All the teachers would have a sense of humour.
They would also be patient, understanding, fair and good (well prepared weil sich auf Verben beziehende Adjektive immer in Adverbien umwandeln, es sei denn es geht um Sinneswahrnehmungen wie schmecken, riechen, sehen, hören, unso ^^) prepared to listen to the pupils.
But the teachers would also sometimes (ich würde das sometimes gleich nach das but am Anfang stellen aber ich glaub so müsste es auch gehen) be strict and respected by all.
If the weather is fine, the teachers would teach outside. (hier die Regeln der if-clauses beachten: if + simple present => will-future, if + simple past => conditional I, also musst du das is durch was ersetzen).
In my perfect school there would be a couch and a coffee machine in every classroom and the rooms would have lots of big windows. (I totally agree with that ;))
Every pupil would have his own computer and there would be more work during the lessons with the computer.
During the brake (sicher dass du an dieser Stelle über Bremsen schreiben möchtest? Versuch es lieber mit break +grins+) the students wouldnt have to go to the baker (bakery, Wir gehen zum Bäcker ist im Deutschen Umgangssprache und müsste korrekterweise heißen Wir gehen zur Bäckerei hihi) anymore, because the baker would bring the snacks and drinks into the classrooms.
Also the breaks (hier hast dus richtig +lol+) would be longer and the lessons shorter.
In the (ohne the, im Englischen haben Zeitangaben wie Jahreszeiten, Wochentage, etc. keinen bestimmten Artikel, es sei denn du willst auf einen ganz bestimmten Winter hinaus, z.B. It was the winter when I got married to Paul. oder so) winter my perfect school would be good (hier wieder well weil sich das Adjektiv auf ein Verb bezieht) heated and it would never be cold inside.
There wouldnt be unexpected exams and you would have enough time to learn before every exam or test.
Thats my idea of the ideal of a school.
So, hoffe, das war schnell genug ;)
Gruß
Endoplasmatisches_Reticulum
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 16:55 Di 06.11.2007 | | Autor: | airam111 |
wow.. danke danke danke und nochmals danke!
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