Kylie Minouge usw... < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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ch habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
Ich würde mich freuen wenn es wieder jemand durchlesen könnte und mir tipps gibt was ich falsch gemacht habe.
Kylie Minogue
Kylie Ann Minogue was born in 1968 in Melbourne and is now an Australian singer, songwriter and actress. She became famous in the 1980s as a result of her role in the Australian television soap opera Neighbours. As recently as years later her career as a pop singer and recording artist starts. Her first hit was the 1987 remake of the Little Eva hit Locomotion. She went on to become a major presence on radio, TV, and magazine covers in Australia and Europe. It became quiter around Kylie but her hit single "Spinning Around" put her back at the top of the pop charts in year 2000.
In May of 2005 Kylies doctor told her a shocking diagnose. She had breast cancer. Fortunately the surgery was declared a success, but she cancelled a planned Australian tour that year.
Kakadu National Park
The Kakadu National Park is the biggest National Park of Australia. Because of the cultural importance it is a world cultural heritage area. The park impose not only for his biggness but also for his variety of plants and of course for the animals. At all the terrifying crocodiles brought to his current popularity. The park has two seasons, wet and dry. In the wet part from October to April many of the attractions are impossible to get to, so the dry season from May to September is the park period for visitors. In the park are also some paintings on the rocks and you can visit about 5000 of sights.
The Great Barrier Reef
The Great barrier Reef is one of the richest of species regions in the world. It is situated in the north-east of Australia. The Great Barrier Reef has a size about 347.800 km². It is the worlds largest coral reef. The main attraction are the extremly colorful corals. There are about 3000 coral reefs and all kind of fish in different colours. The very crystal clear water is perfect to snorkelling and diving.
In 1778 the british sailor James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef as he run onto ground. It consists of 2.900 reefs, 1.000 isles for example the Whitsunday Islands or the Dunk Island.
Sydney
Sydney is the state capital of New South Wales and it is located on the east coast of Australia. It is the most populous city and also the biggest and oldest in the country. It was founded in 1788 by Arthur Phillip. He named it after the British Home Secretary, Thomas Townshend, Lord Sydney. It is built on low hills surrounding Port Jackson, which includes Sydney Harbour. In Sydney you find the opera house which visitors always visit. The Harbour Bridge, the Chinese Garden of Friendship and the beaches are tourist attractions, too. The city known for its water sports and cultural life. Sydney was the host city of the 2000 Olympics.
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Hallo
Habe den ersten Absatz überflogen, hier ist mir aufgefallen:
1- Komma nach Fortunately
2- nicht was declared sondern wenn dann declared, wobei declared a success sich merkwürdig anhört, finde ich; dennoch wäre wohl besser: Although the doctor declared ... , she cancelled usw usw
So, das wars erstmal
LG
MilkyLin
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Hi, monchichi,
das scheint ja ein laengerer Text ueber Australien werden zu wollen  .
Zu diesem Teil (ich hoffe, ich stifte jetzt nicht wieder unnoetig Verwirrung :-o ):
"Kylie Ann Minogue was born in 1968 in Melbourne and is now an Australian singer, songwriter and actress." - klingt sperrig. Mein Vorschlag: "The Australian singer, songwriter and actress Kylie Ann Minogue was born in 1968 in Melbourne."
"as a result of her role" - "by her role"
"television soap opera Neighbours", "the Little Eva hit Locomotion": Ich wuerde die Namen evtl. vom Text abheben, z.B. durch Anfuehrungsstriche oder Kursivsetzung.
"As recently as years later" - was soll das heissen?
"the surgery was declared a success" - so, wie es klingt, hat der Arzt also einfach gelogen? "the surgery was assumed as successfull" waere etwas wertfreier, "the surgery was reported as successfull" wuerde unterstellen, dass sie es wohl wirklich war.
"The park impose" - park ist Singular
"for his variety of plants and of course for the animals" - for durch by ersetzen
"At all" - Was soll das heissen? Wenn es um "besonders" geht: particularly oder especially
"brought" - versteh ich nicht... meinst Du "contributed"?
"In the wet part" - klingt nach einer oertlichen Bezeichnung; "During the wet time"?
"are also some paintings" - fuer den SPrachfluss empfiehlt sich ein "there" vor dem "are", und ansonsten klingt es mir nach Graffity. Ein "ancient" koennte dem entgegenwirken  .
Zum Abschnitt ueber das Great Barrier Reef: Da sollte die Gliederung nochmal ueberarbeitet werden. Alle "Spitzenwerte" auf einen Schlag, alle Zahlenwerte auf einen Schlag, und dann die "Wirkung" - oder so.
"one of the richest of species regions in the world" - schwierig... "one of the worldwide most specious / speciest-richest regions" vielleicht.
"very crystal clear" - "kristallklar" kann man mE nicht gut weiter steigern. Allenfalls "truly / absolutely crystal clear"
"Wales and it is located" - das "and it is" laesst sich summarisch durch ein Komma ersetzen
"The city known for its water sports and cultural life." - Da duerfte noch ein Verb eingebaut werden .
Gruesse vom Fremdgaenger
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(Frage) reagiert/warte auf Reaktion  | | Datum: | 17:02 Di 27.03.2007 | | Autor: | monchichi |
as recently as soll "erst" heißen.
Bei dem Satz "Fortunately the surgery was declared a succes,..." bin ich mir ziemlich sicher und ich lasse ich mal so =)
bei at all bin ich mir aber nicht sicher ich wollte damit sagen das es besonders ist aber ich nehme jetzt lieber especially.
Mit dem Satz "Especially the terrifying crocodiles brought to his current popularity." wollte ich sagen, dass die Krokodile den Park zu seiner Bekanntheit gebracht haben. contributed kann man natürlich auch nehmen stimmt das dann: Especially the terrifying crocodiles contributed to his current popularity.
"one of the worldwide most specious..." übernehme ich lieber nicht da specious trügerisch heißt und das ist ja überhaupt nicht meine absicht ;)
Danke wieder für die Hilfe Ich habe selber gemerkt das ich einige Fehler gemacht habe, die sich durchaus vermeiden lassen. Und ja es wird ein langer Text über Australien sogar ein ganzer kalender =)
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Ichfüge meine korrigierten texte noch hinzu. VIelleicht habe ich ja doch noch einen Fehler gemacht
Kylie Minogue
The Australian singer, songwriter and actress Kylie Ann Minogue was born in 1968 in Melbourne. She became famous in the 1980s as a result by her role in the Australian television soap opera Neighbours. As recently as a few years later her career as a pop singer and recording artist started. Her first hit was the 1987 remake of the Little Eva hit Locomotion. She went on to attain a major presence on the radio, TV, and magazine covers in Australia and Europe. It became quieter for Kylie but her hit single "Spinning Around" put her back at the top of the pop charts in the year 2000.
In May of 2005 Kylies doctor made a shocking diagnosis. She had breast cancer. Fortunately the surgery was declared a success, but she cancelled a planned Australian tour that year.
Kakadu National Park
The Kakadu National Park is the biggest National Park of Australia. Because of the cultural importance it is a world cultural heritage area. The park imposes not only for his biggness but also by his variety of plants and of course by the animals. Especially the terrifying crocodiles contributed to his current popularity. The park has two seasons, wet and dry. During the wet time from October to April many of the attractions are impossible to get to, so the dry season from May to September is the park period for visitors. In the park there are also some ancient paintings on the rocks and you can visit about 5000 of sights.
The Great Barrier Reef
The Great Barrier Reef is one of the richest of species regions in the world. It is situated in the north-east of Australia with a size about 347.800 km². Consequently it is the worlds largest coral reef. In 1778 the british sailor James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef as he run onto ground.
The main attraction are the extremly colorful corals. There are about 3000 coral reefs and all kind of fish in different colours. Moreover it consists of 1.000 isles for example the Whitsunday Islands or the Dunk Island. The absolutely crystal clear water is perfect to snorkelling and diving.
Sydney
Sydney is the state capital of New South Wales, it is located on the east coast of Australia. It is the most populous city and also the biggest and oldest in the country. It was founded in 1788 by Arthur Phillip. He named it after the British Home Secretary, Thomas Townshend, Lord Sydney. It is built on low hills surrounding Port Jackson, which includes Sydney Harbour. In Sydney you find the opera house which visitors always visit. The Harbour Bridge, the Chinese Garden of Friendship and the beaches are tourist attractions, too. The city is known for its water sports and cultural life. Sydney was the host city of the 2000 Olympics.
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Hi, monchichi,
was mir neu aufgefallen ist: "biggness" schreibt man nur mit einem g.
"erst Jahre spaeter" wuerde ich mit "not until years later" uebersetzen.
Das "specious" war ein Tippfehler... bitte um Entschuldigung :-o . "speciose" war das Wort, was ich meinte. Die Gliederung des Absatzes finde ich jetzt deutlich besser!
Entschuldigende Gruesse vom Fremdgaenger
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