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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Sports
Sports < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Sports: Korrektur
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 00:42 Mo 08.11.2010
Autor: airam111

Aufgabe
Hallo!
Ich habe zwei Texte über das Thema Sport verfasst und wäre sehr sehr dankbar, wenn mir jemand ein bisschen helfen könnte, indem er Korrekturvorschläge macht. =)

2.1.
You are spending a term at a Californian High School. The school community takes a great interest in sports. Your American classmates have asked you to write an article about sports at your Austrian school for their school magazine. Make sure you focus on
- the role sports play in the Austrian curriculum
- the sports facilities and PE lessons at your school
- the extra-curricular sports activities on offer

2.2.
You read an English-language sports magazine and come across an article revealing that one of your favourite athletes is accused of abusing performance-enhancing drugs. You decide to write a letter to the editor. Make sure that you
- express shock at the news
- analyse possible reasons for his and other doping incidents
- explain what ideals you connect with sports


2.1.
Educating your body
Whether active or passive in front of the TV – sport plays an important role within society. There are divergent opinions on the value of sport, particularly in schools. While American pupils are used to a great interest in sports by schools, pupils in Austria often don’t have that many possibilities to do sports within the school system.
It cannot be denied that sports are indispensable as they enhance the physical abilities of pupils. In Austrian schools, sports lessons are compulsory and pupils have to attend sports classes from two up to four hours per week unless they are excused on medical grounds. Other than in America, school sports in Austria often don’t get the same attention and haven’t got the same objectives as all of the education.
At my school, we have got two gymhalls where we are doing gymnastics or playing several games like dodgeball. If the weather is fine we go outside to the garden of the school where we are usually doing athletics. You can find also a football pitch as well as a basketball and a volleyball court. Furthermore we are visiting a fitnessstudio or the ice rink for several times a year. Pupils in the lower classes are also forced to visit the indoor swimming pool every second week.
The most popular extra-curricular sports activities offered at my school are table tennis, rock climbing and volleyball. In the United States, school sports teams play an important role and every pupil in school is infected by the sport spirit. As there are usually no bigger interschool competitions you don’t feel this enthusiasm of sport and team spirit in an Austrian school. Nonetheless, Austrian pupils are enjoying doing sports in the context of school.
Summing up, objectives of school sports in Austria aren’t about top-performings or competitions; they are about the important basics: respect, teamwork and enjoyment.


2.2.
Dear Editor,
I refer to your article on Lance Armstrong and the possibility that he used performance-enhancing drugs and I strongly feel to comment it.
When reading the sports magazine the news came as a complete shock. I just couldn’t believe that Lance Armstrong is accused of doping. He always made us believe that he was clean even though doping was widespreaded in cycling when he was competing. I feel particularly disappointed that he repeatedly denied abusing performing-enhancing drugs as you mentioned in your article. Armstrong might was afraid that he won’t win the Tour de France for another time when he decided to take performance-enhancing drugs.
Nevertheless, I can’t accept that Lance Armstrong is portrayed a bad person in your article. We shouldn’t disregard that he has done a lot of good. Armstrong has raised tons of money in order to help and support people suffering from cancer. He will continue to fight against cancer unless he might be an unclean athlete.
For me, sports are about team spirit, self-enjoyment, top-performings and particularly about fairness. By disregarding these unwritten rules and abusing performance-enhancing drugs athletics start to devaluate sports.
Armstrong will always remain a cycling legend and I strongly wish that he won’t be associated with doping in the future.


        
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Sports: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 20:21 Mi 10.11.2010
Autor: Mary2505

Hi airam,
> 2.1.
>  Educating your body
>  Whether active or passive in front of the TV – sport
> plays an important role within society. There are divergent
> opinions on the value of sport, particularly in schools.
> While American pupils are used to a great interest in
> sports by schools (are the schools interested in sports?), pupils in Austria often don’t have
> that many possibilities to do sports within the school
> system (school system or at school?).
>  It cannot be denied that sports are indispensable as they
> enhance the physical abilities of pupils. In Austrian
> schools, sports lessons are compulsory and pupils have to
> attend sports classes from two up to four hours per week
> unless they are excused on medical grounds (false friend!!! use  'reason'). Different to America, school sports in Austria often don’t get the
> same attention and haven’t got the same objectives as all
> of the education (what is "all of the education"?).
>  At my school, we have got two gymhalls where we do
> gymnastics or play several games like dodgeball. If the
> weather is fine we go outside in the garden of the school
> where we usually do athletics. You canalso find a
> football pitch as well as a basketball and a volleyball
> court (where can you find the courts?). Furthermore we visit a fitnesscenter or the
> ice rink for several times a year. Pupils in the lower
> classes are also forced (be careful with that word!! it means "zwingen, Gewalt antun", I don't think you wanted to say that, use a different word)to visit the indoor swimming pool
> every second week.
>  The most popular extra-curricular sports activities
> offered at my school are table tennis, rock climbing and
> volleyball. In the United States, school sports teams play
> an important role and every pupil in school is infected by
> the sport spirit. As there are usually no bigger
> interschool competitions you don’t feel this enthusiasm
> of sport and team spirit in an Austrian school.
> Nonetheless, Austrian pupils enjoy doing sports in
> (the context) of school.
>  Summing up, objectives of school sports in Austria
> aren’t about top-performings or competitions; they are
> about the important basics: respect, teamwork and
> enjoyment.
>
>
> 2.2.
>  Dear Editor,
>  I refer to your article on Lance Armstrong and the
> possibility that he used performance-enhancing drugs and I
> strongly feel to comment it.
>  When reading the sports magazine the news came as a
> complete shock. I just couldn’t believe that Lance
> Armstrong is accused of doping. He always made us believe
> that he was clean even though doping was widespreaded in
> cycling when he was competing. I feel particularly
> disappointed that he denied repeatedlyabusing
> performing-enhancing drugs as you mentioned in your
> article. Armstrong might was afraid (tense mix--> might have been afraid of not winningthe
> Tour de France (for) another time when he decided to take
> performance-enhancing drugs.
> Nevertheless, I can’t accept that Lance Armstrong is
> portrayed asa bad person in your article. We shouldn’t
> disregard that he has done a lot of good. Armstrong has
> raised tons of money in order to help and support people
> suffering from cancer. He will continue to fight against
> cancer unless he might be an unclean athlete.
>  For me, sports are about team spirit, self-enjoyment,
> top-performings and particularly about fairness. By
> disregarding these unwritten rules and abusing
> performance-enhancing drugs athletics start to devaluate
> sports.
> Armstrong will always remain a cycling legend and I
> strongly wish that he won’t be associated with doping in
> the future.

Ich habe versucht deine grammatical mistakes zu korrigieren und hier und da Vorschläge zur Textverbesserung (z.B. zum besseren Textverständnis) zu machen, aber inhaltlich kann ich dir glaube ich nicht viel weiterhelfen.

lg
Mary


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