Zum korrigieren < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 12:26 Fr 17.04.2009 | | Autor: | Dinker |
Hallo
Wäre sehr dankbar wenn einer drüber schauen könnte und die notwendigen Korrekturen vornehmen würde.
He feels humiliation and his previous qualities like unhappy, self-pity and lacks of self-confidence come back.
Geht der Satz so? Soll ich am schluss "come back" oder "revert" schreiben?
He is too cowardly too help his friend John by his rebel action to save himself from being arrested.
This indicate that his previous acting like a rebel wasnt his deep conviction, but the reason for this behaviour based more on his society rejection.
His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are such different from the Brave new World values, so that the reader can anticipate that his Brave new world stay will end in a catastrophe.
He is overjoyed to have the chance to leave the Reservation, because his mother tells him about this other place as a paradise of goodness and loveliness.
Danke
Gruss Dinker
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Hallo,
hier meine Korrekturvorschläge:
1)"He feels humiliation and his previous qualities like unhappy, self-pity and lacks of self-confidence come back.
Geht der Satz so? Soll ich am schluss "come back" oder "revert" schreiben? "
- He feels humilitated and his previous features revert, like being unhappy, self-pity and to be less self-confident.
-> revert ist besser
2) "He is too cowardly too help his friend John by his rebel action to save himself from being arrested."
-> Hier bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher, ob ich den Inhalt richtig deute, aber ich würde es so formulieren:
- He is too cowardly to help his friend John by his rebellion/rebellious action, because he doesn't want to be arrested.
3) "This indicate that his previous acting like a rebel wasnt his deep conviction, but the reason for this behaviour based more on his society rejection."
- This indicates (->Verb) that his previous rebellious behaviour, wasnt his deep conviction.
-> Besser jetzt einen neuen Satz anfangen:
- The reason for this is/was (rather = vielmehr), that the society refuse/-d him.
4)"His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are such different from the Brave new World values, so that the reader can anticipate that his Brave new world stay will end in a catastrophe. "
-His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are such different from the Brave (warum schreibst du brave groß ?) New World values, (so) that the reader can anticipate that his stay in the/his->(kommt auf den Inhalt an, "his" würde aber bedeuten, dass es seine neue Welt wäre)brave New World will end in a catastrophe.
5) "He is overjoyed to have the chance to leave the Reservation (wird eigentlich klein geschrieben), because his mother tells (wenn sie es schon zuvor gemacht hat, besser "told") him about this (besser: the) other place as a paradise of goodness and loveliness. "
- das Ende würde ich ändern, nach "other place: ...who shall be (= sein soll) a paradise of goodness and loveliness.
So, ich hoffe, ich konnte dir helfen.
Lg, Cynthia
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tag allerseits,
ich geb mal meinen senf dazu
1)"He feels humiliation and his previous qualities like unhappy, self-pity and lacks of self-confidence come back.
Geht der Satz so? Soll ich am schluss "come back" oder "revert" schreiben? "
- He feels humilitated and his previous features revert, like being unhappy, self-pity and to be less self-confident.
[das macht, abgesehen davon, dass "like" kein guter stil ist, keinen sinn:
entweder: He feels humiliated and reverts to his previous features, like being unhappy, self-piteous and less self-confident=more self-conscious....oder
nominal:He feels humiliated and reverts to his previous features , such as unhappiness, self-pity and self-consciousness(/a lack of self-confidence).]
2) "He is too cowardly too help his friend John by his rebel action to save himself from being arrested."
-> Hier bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher, ob ich den Inhalt richtig deute, aber ich würde es so formulieren:
- He is too cowardly(Adjektiv!) to help his friend John by his rebellion/rebellious action, because he doesn't want to be arrested.
[Satzstellung! Überlege zuerst wie dein gedankengang verknüpft sein soll und nicht so von hinten durch die brust ins auge  . Also z.B. könnte man deine Idee so übersetzen:
A)Since he fears being arrested, he does not support John's rebellious acts.->Weil er fürchtet festgesetzt zu werden, ünterstützt er Johns rebellischen Akt nicht.
oder B) His cowardice, he fears being arrested, hinders him from supporting John's rebellion.->Seine Feigheit, er befürchtet verhaftet zu werde, hindert ihn daran Johns Rebellion zu unterstützen.]
3) "This indicate that his previous acting like a rebel wasn’t his deep conviction, but the reason for this behaviour based more on his society rejection."
- This indicates (->Verb) that his previous rebellious behaviour, wasn’t his deep conviction.
-> Besser jetzt einen neuen Satz anfangen: JA!(und zuerst überlegen: Was möchte ich wem näher bringen?)
- The reason for this is/was (rather = vielmehr), (vor that nie komma) that (the) society refuse(s)/-d him.
[Vorschlag: This indicates that his previous rebellious act was not based on conviction/driven by conviction but caused by his aversion (abneigung) to (the) society.]
4)"His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are such different from the Brave new World values, so that the reader can anticipate that his Brave new world stay will end in a catastrophe. "
-His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are such different from the Brave (warum schreibst du brave groß ?) New World values, (so) that the reader can anticipate that his stay in the/his->(kommt auf den Inhalt an, "his" würde aber bedeuten, dass es seine neue Welt wäre)brave New World will end in a catastrophe.
["such" ist schwierig zu benutzen, klingt schnell steif und kann nicht so aus dem deutschen übersetzt werden wie du es machst also nicht:..derart...,so dass=such...so that
Vorschlag zur Güte: His birth, upbringing, values and behaviour are so different from those in (")Brave New World(") (als Name alles groß) that the reader can anticipate the catastrophic end(ing) (ending wenn du meinst, dass es ein prozess ist, wenn du denkst es ist kurz und knackig dann end) of his stay (in BNW).]
5) "He is overjoyed to have the chance to leave the Reservation (wird eigentlich klein geschrieben), because his mother tells (wenn sie es schon zuvor gemacht hat, besser "told") him about this (besser: the) other place as a paradise of goodness and loveliness. "
- das Ende würde ich ändern, nach "other place: ...who shall be (= sein soll) a paradise of goodness and loveliness.
[naja "shall" hört sich für mich eher biblisch an . was das paradis sein soll eher=...is supposed to be the paradise (on earth).
Vorschlag: He is overjoyed to have the chance of leaving the Reservation (groß oder klein ist relativ egal, da du es auch als Name sehen kannst. einfach mit anführungszerichen auf nummer sicher gehen!), because his mother has always described BNW as the paradise on earth.]
Sooooo....ihr wart Brave, die übersetzung ist teilweise Neu und.....
wie auch immer
have a nice day!
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