leipzig aufsatz < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 15:32 Fr 23.11.2007 | | Autor: | mathe11 |
| Aufgabe | | Ich habe einen Aufsatz über Leipzig geschrieben. Bitte um Kontrolle! |
Leipzig- A city worth living in.
Leipzig is it a city worth living in? There are so many different things in it. In the following I shall be concerned with the statement.
For many people is Leipzig their hometown. They have there their family and their friends. In Leipzig there are many universities wich are well known in the world. Leipzig is a historical City and there are many historical places for intens the church of Thomas or of sankt Nicolai. There are also the Monument of the battle of the nastions or lots of parcs. In your freetine you can do many activities like sports or plaing an instrument. There are many culture like the Leipzig Opera House or the musichall called "Gewandhaus" or the theatre. One of the two well known choirs is in the city which is callde "Thomanerchor".It is with the "Kreuzchor" in Dresden one of the oldest choire which is found with pupils. Leipzig is famous for their fair and the main station. That´s why it is a multiculturell city with dismanted infrastructure. The zoo in Leipzig is also well known because you can see it in the TV in the documentation "elephant, tiger and Co." In Leipzig there are many shopping centres like the Paunsdorf- Centre.
In Leipzig there are like other cities many building sites and much noise. It is also different to find a job. There are many blocks of the flat next to the city. But the waste of money is the city tunnel. It is very expensive. Our city is the city with the highest energy costs.
But all in all Leipzig is a beautiful and green city and I think it is worth living in, because I have all my friends and my family in this town. I would like to spend my future life in Leipzig.
Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 18:11 Fr 23.11.2007 | | Autor: | rainerS |
Hallo!
> Ich habe einen Aufsatz über Leipzig geschrieben. Bitte um
> Kontrolle!
Der Aufsatz ist ganz gut, bis auf eine Sache: Mir fällt auf, dass du oft die deutsche Satzstellung einfach ins Englische überträgst und dadurch eine falsche Satzstellung produzierst. Im Zweifelsfall halte dich an die Regel
Subjekt - Prädikat - Objekt.
Ansonsten hast du ein paar Schreibfehler.
> Leipzig- A city worth living in.
> Leipzig-- is it a city worth living in? There are so many
> different things in it. In the following I shall be concerned withdiscuss the statement.
"to be concerned with" hat eher die Bedeutung "für etwas zuständig sein". Es ist nicht völlig falsch, aber klingt nicht gut.
> For many people is Leipzig (Subjekt) is(Prädikat) their hometown.
> They have there their family and their friends.
Der Satz ist an sich OK, aber besser wäre
There they have ...
> In Leipzig there are many
> universities which are well known in the world.
Ist das denn richtig? Leipzip hat viele Unis? Eigentlich doch nur eine.
> Leipzig is a
> historical Citycity, and there are many historical places,
> for intensexample the churches of St Thomas or of sankt NicolaiSt Nicholas.
Alternativ: for example St Thomas's Church or St Nicholas's Church.
Bei solchen Namen kannst du einfach mal auf den englischen Seiten von ![[]](/images/popup.gif) www.leipzig.de nachschauen, wie sie geschrieben werden.
> There are also the Monument of the Bbattle of the nastionsNations
Eigenname, daher groß geschrieben
> or lots of
> parcs.
> In your freetinme you can do many activities like
> sports or playing an instrument. There are many culturecultural sites like
> the Leipzig Opera House or, the musicconcert hall (zwei Worte) called
> "Gewandhaus", or the theatre.
Hier hast du zweimal "or" geschrieben, besser ist eine Aufzählung.
> One of the two well known
> choirs is in the city which is calldeed "Thomanerchor" (St Thomas's Boys Choir).
TogetherIt is
> with the "Kreuzchor" in Dresden it is one of the oldest choirse
> which is found with pupils.
Was willst du da sagen, dass es ein Kinderchor ist? Dann schreib ruhig "one of the oldest boys choirs".
> Leipzig is famous for their
> fair and the mainCentral Sstation.
"Central station" ist ein feststehender Begriff für Hauptbahnhof.
> That´s why it is a
> multiculturalell city with dismanted infrastructure.
Meinst du hier "dismantled", also "abgebaut"???
> The zoo in Leipzig Zoo is also well known throughout Germany because you can see it in the
> TV in the documentationshow "Elephant, Tiger and Co."
> In Leipzig there are many shopping centres like the Paunsdorf-
> Centre.
Eher ohne Bindestrich schreiben.
> In Leipzig there are like other cities many building sites
> and much noise.
Nicht in jedem Satz "in Leipzig" wiederholen. Besser:
As in other cities, there are many building sites and much noise.
> It is also differentdifficult to find a job.
> There
> are many blocks of the flats close next to the city.
> But the waste
> of money is the city tunnel. It is very expensive. Our city
> is the city with the highest energy costs.
Die höchsten Energiekosten im Vergleich wozu? Besser zum Beispiel: "with the highest energy costs in Saxony".
> But all in all Leipzig is a beautiful and green city and I
> think it is worth living in, because I have all my friends
> and my family in this town. I would like to spend my future
> life in Leipzig.
![[ok]](/images/smileys/ok.gif "[ok]")
Viele Grüße
Rainer
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